The Season of Gratitude

The leaves are changing, the temperature is dropping, and the days are getting shorter. With the holidays approaching, we are given the opportunity to gather with our loved ones and reflect on the things we are grateful for. Whether you are busy grocery shopping, coordinating with friends and family, or pulling out your winter gear, take a moment to pause and breathe. While it may be difficult to tear yourself away from the endless list of items that must be completed, shifting your mindset to focus on the positive has lasting impacts on your well-being. In psychology, we call your mindset your ‘cognitive lens.’ It is the way you view the world around you, akin to gazing through a pair of glasses. When we view the world through negative glasses, we engage in ‘distorted thinking’ and emphasize unhelpful thoughts and attitudes. When our thoughts are centered on pessimistic thinking, we feel worse about ourselves and others. Research suggests that our emotional and physical states are connected (Rash et al., 2011). By changing our thinking, we can, in turn, influence our emotions, our responses, and our behaviors. Gratitude, a form of positive thinking, as defined by the Oxford English Dictionary, means “the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.” Practicing gratitude can boost our self-esteem, improve our social relationships, and increase our life satisfaction and happiness (Caputo, 2015).

In a study that provided youth with a gratitude intervention, researchers identified that following a gratitude exercise, students demonstrated effects of increased self-esteem. They suggest that gratitude may be related to self-acceptance, and by practicing it, youth can build up their self-esteem levels. They also saw potential differences in individuals' cognitive lenses through examining the interpretations of actions by the students demonstrating gratitude. These students rated those who engaged in helpful actions as more altruistic (Rash et al., 2011). Utilizing a gratitude lens can help us to more readily notice the positive actions of others. By acknowledging other people’s kind actions, we are, in turn, motivated to engage in similar behaviors ourselves (Layous & Lyubomirsky, 2014). This form of reciprocity helps us to connect with others and interact in meaningful ways. By expressing our gratitude verbally to others, we strengthen our relationships (Caputo, 2015; Layous & Lyubomirsky, 2014). This simple act of thanking others and engaging in prosocial behaviors has larger implications as it helps to improve social ties across a variety of settings (Layous & Lyubomirsky, 2014; Rash et al., 2011). If you have children at home, teaching them to practice gratitude (noticing, expressing, and reciprocating kindness) can help them view their school settings more positively and provide them with friendship-making tools (Caputo, 2015; Rash et al., 2011). Those who practice gratitude are often more easily able to forgive others (Caputo, 2015).

If you are looking for ways to shift your cognitive lens and practice gratitude this fall, here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Start a gratitude journal: Spend 5 minutes each day making a list of pieces or aspects of your day that you have noticed, and are thankful for.

• Gratitude share: At dinner, spend time having each member share one thing they are thankful for.

• Create a gratitude jar. Each day write or draw one thing you are thankful for and add it to the jar. You can spend time reflecting on these items at the end of each month.

• Gratitude alphabet: Think of one thing you are grateful for, that begins with each letter of the alphabet. 

• Compliment Circle: With your friends or family, form a compliment circle and go around sharing your appreciation with each other and providing genuine compliments to build each other up.

• Gratitude/Kindness Stone: Keep a small stone in your pocket (bonus points for decorating it). Each time you touch this stone, think of something that you are thankful for, and if applicable, share this gratitude out loud with the person you are grateful for. When noticing this stone, you can also choose to remind yourself of kindness, and offer yourself/others an encouraging, kind act or statement.

May this season of gratitude inspire us to slow down, give thanks, and foster deeper connection with the people in our lives.

References: 

Caputo, A. (2015). The relationship between gratitude and loneliness: The potential benefits of gratitude for promoting social bonds. Europe's journal of psychology, 11(2), 323.

Layous, K., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2014). Benefits, mechanisms, and new directions for teaching gratitude to children. School Psychology Review, 43(2), 153-159.

Rash, J. A., Matsuba, M. K., & Prkachin, K. M. (2011). Gratitude and well‐being: Who benefits the most from a gratitude intervention?. Applied Psychology: Health and Well‐Being, 3(3), 350-369.